Shadows
by JokerSmiles
Summary: Shadows, They are like your past following behind you with every step. Would these shadows of Izaya disappear if he suddenly changed? Would there be anything left of himself to keep the man whole in his body and mind?


**Chapter One: Shadow Of A Man**

The daily routine of Shizuo Heiwajima has changed over the pass few months. A strange realization but, it had occured. The blonde never thought the sceduled events of chasing his enemy Izaya Orihara out of his city would ever change until one of their deaths took hold of them during their game.

Its been over 4 months since their last encounter. Usually he would at least see a glimse of the flea swarming through the busy crowds of people, but he has not seen nor heard of him in these few months where were begining to seem like years. Thoughout these months Shizuo began to get paranoid. Everywhere he went, every place he looked he seen Izaya, but thought better to see it only as his imagination. Instead trying to maintain his cool the debt collector found himself roughing at his hair and cursing at himself pacing in the same locations hour after hour as if something would change.

All these months added up to today. Another day where Shizuo was stomping through the city streets. Finally he blew up, after now 6 months of wondering today would be the day he would finally see what Izaya was up to.

"Damnit!" A strong willed fist slammed against a brick wall creating many cracks. Grunting an angry groan Shizuo through his head against said wall. "Izayaaaaa!" Again he threw his fist against the wall. Biting harshly into his cigarette he spit it out onto the ground then forced himself into a sprinting run towards Shinjuku. Running at his quickening pace he grabbed a sign in his path not even bothering to stop. Ripping the metal from its cemented spot on the ground he turned corners and short cuts towards Izaya's apartment.

With his arms swinging side to side he stopped in front of Izaya's apartment with his trusty metal sign at his side. "IZAYA!" He screamed. "Get your swarmy little ass down here!" After a few seconds of hearing no response the blonde threw his beloved weapon to the ground with a crash leaving it dented and entered the apartement complex. Climbing up the stairs not even bothering with the elevator he arrived at the door to the informants home. Not even saying a word Shizuo kicked down the door. "Izaya!" Growling the blonde stomped into the apartment. To his surprise he seen the place a mess. Papers cascaded everywhere, the apartment alone was dark from the curtains being closed. The place looked a reck, this place seemed was too unorganized to be the usual informants habitat. Snarling Shizuo walked into the rooms closest. "IZAYA?" The informant was no where to be found. Looking again at the current state of the apartment Shizuo couldn't help but wonder if something happened to his enemy.

Suddenly the sound of running water made the brute awaken from his senses. Smiling a dirty smile to himself Shizuo snuck over to what appeared to be the bathroom door. Hearing the water stop, the blonde awaited outside the door waiting to pounce.

Slowly the door creaked open and Shizuo snached the smaller man by his shirt and held him up against the wall. "IZAYA!" Shizuo looked at the informants expression, it was...different.

He wasn't smirking, nor smiling, not even studying him like his usual self. "Oh, its you Shizu-Chan, I don't want to play today so I would appreciate it if you would leave."

The blonde's eyes widened as he snapped his teeth at the informant. "You are up to something I want to know what it is!"

Ignoring the rageful man holding him up in a grip in his own home Izaya only glanced to his door entering his apartment. "Did you break my door?" Shizuo noticed his voice was different too. It wasn't like Izaya at all.

"TELL ME FLEA!" Shizuo shouted as slamming Izaya's back against the solid surface of the wall once more. Angrily the blonde scanned his enemy. He wasn't fighting back, no smart remarks. What the hell was going on?

Again the monotone sound voice spoke again. "If you would put me down we could speak civil instead of you attacking me like an animal. "

Angrily Shizuo growled,but listened with his better judgement he lightly dropped Izaya down to his feet. Getting a better look at the informant he saw that the smaller man seemed a bit smaller compared to a few months back. The sweatpants and shirt he wore clung to his body loosely. Looking at his face his eyes appeared very tired on the count of the dark circles no doubt from major lack of sleep. Inside himself Shizuo felt concerned about the man. His disappearance from Ikebukuro, his apartment, and current unhealthy state of appearance Shizuo saw that something was not right indeed.

What Shizuo didn't see...

was that the reason Izaya was becoming like this...

would be the last reason he would ever think of...

a reason bigger than he could have ever thought of.

Izaya Orihara has recently been losing himself in his own state of mind. He finds he can't bring himself to kill Shizuo anymore, not even harm him. The Informant couldn't understand it. He felt himself getting deeper and deeper into the back of his mind, becoming lost. Orihara began to try and figure himself out, knowing he was an information broker surely he could know about himself, but somehow he could not identify his own information. His usual traits, quirks, speech patterns, anything. He fought himself not to go to Ikebukuro to see Shizuo. The feeling inside his body were literally killing him. Soon Izaya found himself not eating, avoiding his Shizu-Chan, not smiling, he stopped working. He stopped everything he knew. Eventually he came to that one night.

That one night where he completely snapped, where all the wires disconnected. He felt himself running about his apartment as if he was being chased by the protozoan he bugged on an almost daily basis. Izaya felt alive again, truly alive and laughing and smiling as he jumped over his furniture. Hiding behind the corners of his walls he giggled to himself as he acted as his usual self. Though when he "woke up" realizing what he was doing. Woken up from those imaginary images of the original memories of times from a few months ago he found himself with cuts on his flesh from his "fight with Shizuo" and the bloody blade, weapon to those very cuts, was in the palm of his own hand.

Throwing the knife to the solid floor Izaya felt himself slipping. He leaned against the wall and began to feel tears prick at his eyes. This was the first time the informant had cried to his own knowledge. He didn't know who he was, nor what he was becoming with his mind like this.

What had happened to the human loving informant that used to occupy this body? What was left but a lonely, quiet, crazy man who didn't even know who he was anymore. A person unidentifiable to their own eyes in the every second he gazed in the reflection he only seen an empty shell. That is why the reflection in his mirror is cracked so he can no longer see the ghost in his sight.

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><p><strong><em>AN: First off THANK YOU for reading :3. _**

**_This idea was a thought I have had for a while so it feels truly good to get the first chapter out in the open. :D_**

**_I hope you enjoyed it and please review telling me what you think :D _**

**_-JokerSmiles:)_**


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